tomorrowdreams (tomorrowdreams) wrote in loveandacademia,

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Lack of support, excess of stress

Abstract: Girl can't decide if she should stay in her relationship once she goes to grad school this September, because currently the relationship is already strained because of academic pursuits - wouldn't grad school and distance make things worse?

The details:

I've been dating my boyfriend for almost a year. I love him. He's just what I was looking for, we get along really well, have similar interests etc. Unfortunately, we're both trying really hard in school right now. I'm finishing my undergraduate degree and will be starting an MLIS (library science) degree this September. He has 2 more years of undergraduate studies and is obsessed with entering the honours program, and later getting a master's and a doctorate.

Already, I hate it when he can't go out with me because he's studying. He can't talk to me on the phone for 20 min. 'cause he needs to finish a paper. He has to get up at 6am every day to study. I really admire his dedication, and I happen to think that school is extremely important... but I sometimes want to be the center of his life. I know I'm extremely important to him; he has skipped class because we needed to talk, he always takes my calls, and consistently makes an effort to make me happy. The bad part is that I understand how important school is, and often let him have the time and space he needs to do his best. (He's no good at studying with me around, unfortunately. But we're working on it.)

I'm stressed, sad, and lonely. I know things will be easier during the summer, but I'm desperately afraid of what September holds. Our relationship will suddenly be long-distance, he'll (I assume) be in an honours program and I'll be in my first year of grad school. I'm terrified.

Some advice would be greatly appreciated! I don't want to hurt him or myself emotionally, but most importantly our academic careers!
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